Wednesday, October 8, 2014

I Just Wish to Be Like Me

by Matt Zahn


The following is a college application essay written by Stern Center alum, Matt Zahn, that talks about his struggles with dyslexia and his determination in finding his own success:

Life is full of ironies. Throughout childhood kids are constantly seeking to be like everyone else. They long to be part of a larger group where they can identify and blend, such as the soccer team, scouts, band or the local ballet troupe. Groups offer a comfort and stability from the angst of youth. Before long, high school, senior year and college applications roll around. Suddenly kids must stand out from the crowd. They can no longer afford to blend in. Young adults must stand on their own two feet, advocate for themselves and navigate the college admissions process. For most this is a dramatic and uncomfortable change; for others, however, being different has been a way of life.


The scene: a Norman Rockwell classroom, the sound of children running by laughing candidly, the raw warmth of recess-sun-kissed skin, the smell of Fritos hanging in the air. This is my life in third grade. The matronly teacher, Mrs. McCloud, herds the children into the circle of chairs to read Dr. Seuss’ I Wish That I Had Duck Feet. Everyone follows along with their fingers, each taking a turn to read paragraphs rhythmically. It’s my turn to read. Letters float off the page before me.

                                                             Iw ish

                                                             thatI haddu ckfeet
                                                             An dIca nte llyouw hy.
                                                             Youca nspl asharo undin duck feet.
                                                             Youdo n’tha vetok eepth emdry.

Suddenly, I’m sweaty and fidgety. I lean back on my chair so far I fall over. The class erupts in ripples of laughter. All order is lost. Phew.

My relief was merely an illusion. Little did I know I was about to be found out. My tricks of memorization and humor could no longer work. My secret became apparent to everyone. I could not read.  

So began my private journey. I didn’t want to be dyslexic; I wanted to be normal like everybody else. But “normal” was out of my control. However, I did have the determination to overcome my challenges. After five years of private tutoring in reading, writing and math, I chose to leave my “coach” when it came time for high school. I wanted to go to school on my own, to show everyone what I could achieve by myself.  

Unfortunately my success proved to be my Achilles heel. As a sophomore, the school dropped my Special Ed accommodations. Apparently you can’t be on High Honor Roll and still carry a Special Education designation. Long ago my tutor warned me to keep these accommodations for my College Board exams, as my history of poor standardized testing in timed environments was well documented. I had no choice but to press on, to prepare to do my best.

It is ironic that perhaps my Board scores set me apart from the masses of students seeking admission to the most elite schools. Yet I feel good, and even confident, in presenting them. The scores add dimension and contrast to the full picture of me—showing what I can do despite personal challenges. They are but a few pixels of the portrait of a candidate who excels in a rigorous academic environment, is recognized as a leader in student government, and is a Life Scout pursuing the rank of Eagle for community involvement. A portrait of a candidate who is dyslexic and comfortable with being so unique.

                                                              AND SO...                                        
                                                              I think
                                                              there are some things
                                                              I do not wish to be.
                                                             And that is why
                                                              I think that I
                                                              just wish to be like ME.

Be sure to read Matt's follow-up blog that he wrote as a senior in college, Because All Great Minds Don't Think Alike.

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